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Understanding
'Love'
Love,
What is it?
Merriam-Webster
dictionary has this definition:
Main Entry: love
Function: noun
Date: before 12th century
1 a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b: an assurance of love <give her my love>
2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3 a: the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> b (1): a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment (2)British —used as an informal term of address
4 a: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others b: a person's adoration of God
5: a god or personification of love
6: an amorous episode : love affair
7: the sexual embrace : copulation
A good
love connection is made when
we are able
to receive and give love
according to our own wants and needs.
I
bring your focus to these three definitions below:
1)
strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
(Friends, Coworkers, Country, Family)
2) the object of attachment, devotion, or
admiration (Affluence, Pastimes, Heroes, Theology, God)
3) unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of
another (Lovers,
Friends, Family, God)
Often
our ideas of love, and our pursuit of love can be unclear, non-specific,
misdirected and inappropriate. It is no wonder why there are so
many people who are lonely, neglected or passion obsessed.
Much like Abundance and Intention, it is important to understand what it
is, so that we might be clear and specific in our understandings. I
will begin with the third definition:
3)
unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another (Lovers,
Friends, Family, God)
Most
commonly, when we are looking for love, we most often are referring to
that of a loved one, a companion, a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend
relationship. The need to feel wanted (value, admiration,
belonging), is so much more powerful than the need to feel needed, (much
like a boss needs an employee). In these relationships we are
looking for two basic things A) receive love B) to give love. Both
the giving and the receiving of love are not limited to the
definition above, but also include affection, tenderness, intimacy,
admiration, value and devotion.
Receiving
and Giving love are the same thing: Opposite, but equals of affection.
When we consider our own desires, to express our affection outwardly in
our choice of words, thoughts and actions, and this expression is
unselfish, loyal and benevolent, it will lead us to consider the other
persons interests first. This is why we might become fearful our anxious
about "making the first move" - because doing so, might be
perceived as selfish or lacking in appropriate restraint. Sometimes
love can be compelling, and impulsive and so strong, that we cannot hide
it, we cannot contain it. A good connection is made when we are able
to do both: receive and give love according to our own wants and needs.
If you
don't clarify and make known your wants and needs,
you might fall in love with
someone who is unwilling
or incapable of fulfilling your wants and needs.
When
pursuing a love interest, perhaps you should consider yourself and you own
wants and needs first. Yeah, I know, some of you are saying
"What?! He is so stupid and ignorant!" Yes, consider your
own wants and needs first. Why? Because your need to receive love,
and the treatment, attitudes, beliefs and philosophies of what you expect
are yours - they are YOURS. If the other person is simply on their
best behavior, how will you know if they can meet your needs? If you
get mired into a relationship with someone you love, and you meet all of
their needs, but they don't meet your needs, you will be unhappy, and the
relationship will be unbalanced unless and until it is corrected.
These are often not corrected before commitments are made, and thus the
relationship is dissolved or divorced. You should get your intention
clear on what you need and want in a lover. What kind of treatment
to do want? Are you a democrat and they are republican? Do you want kids,
and they don't? Is your lover aware of your needs? Can they fulfill your
needs? Will they, meaning are they capable and willing of putting your
interests above their own? If you don't, you might fall in love with
someone who is unwilling or incapable of fulfilling your needs. So
why not consider your own needs first? Yes, true love begins with
you understanding that the affection and devotion of love will not truly
be benevolent if you are careless with the value you place on yourself.
"Get
your intention clear, and love will follow." - Thom
Paige
The
Wrong Question: "Is She/He the Right Person For Me?"
The Right Question: "Am I the Right Person for Him/Her?"
We are often at our best behavior when courting or seducing a love
interest. We won't even pass gas in their presence. We often
choose our words carefully, we dress our best and behave how we believe
our love interest will want us to behave. We will sometimes form
crafty and subtle ways to get them to drop their guard so we can see the
"real" them. Instead of being crafty, investigate openly
what your love interests wants and needs are. Get them to drop their
guard by dropping yours. Be vulnerable and sincere, but also be
scrutinizing to help you detect their honesty and sincerity. Be
honest and sincere, and talk with them about your expectations, your
needs, your wants - and try not to be too choosey with your words, be
candid and un-rehearsed. When your intention is clear, you will feel
comfortable asking your lover how they feel, or how they predict they can
fulfill your needs. Your benevolence will demonstrate, and manifest
to you if you are capable of fulfilling their wants and needs. If
you are not capable or willing, then your intention is clearer, and with
more time and dates, you might find someone you can both receive and give
love in equal measure.
I
have been married for 20 years. I value my wife's opinion, this is
what she said: "True love is unconditional, but it is not limited to
what the dictionary explained, it is more than that! its also . . . "
We discussed love in all its forms, and I concluded that the purpose of
this site was to assist individuals in obtaining abundance with clear
intention in all areas of their life, but, this sites purpose was not to
describe or to expound upon other forms of love, including sex and how
often young people mistake the intimacy and affection of sex as a form of
love, and we concluded that the dictionary definition is far from
complete, and in many ways lacking passion, conviction and commonly held
morals. <big cheesy grin>
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