How to Create Your Perfect Money Relationship

Make family money management a joint effort. Regularly--once a month or even once a week--sit down and go over your finances, so both partners know how much money is coming in, how much is going out, where it's going and the general health of your fiscal affairs. Don't know what your money is being spent on? Use budget-tracking software like Quicken (quicken.com) or Money (microsoft.com/money).

Look at your investments. Is your portfolio in sync with your spiritual beliefs, personal growth goals, interests, and issues of community and sustainability? If not, talk to your broker about your concerns. Do some research on socially responsible investing at socialinvest.org.

Write a "money biography." List what you believe about money and how you came by those beliefs. You might include statements like: "Borrowing is a sign of weakness" or "It's impossible to make good money at a job you enjoy." Often such convictions "were passed down to us and we have unconsciously accepted them without really looking at whether they're true for us," says money coach Deborah Price (money-therapy.com).

Create your "life inventory." Take into account non-monetary gains and losses, and include columns for achievements and experiences like travel, relationships, life lessons learned and taught, and other ways you've spent time and energy. You might be rich in ways you haven't realized.  

Make a donation to a cause or charity you believe in. Author Lynne Twist (soulofmoney.org) believes that philanthropy is a harbinger of financial wellness. A big part of her prescription for spiritual and financial health is to give money away, regardless of how much you make or how much you give.

Write a personal ad describing your perfect money relationship. Be specific and clear, says Price. Here's an example: "Spiritual being seeking a relationship with money that is trustworthy, fulfilling, co-creative, prosperous and knows no limits." Identify what each word in your ad means, then tape it up where you can see it and read it out loud every day to help establish your intentions.

Natural Health, Sept, 2004 by Frances Lefkowitz